Oil Falls, Dems Work The System

Good news for all those who own cars. Now that I do not own a functioning vehicle, I have to speculate that I alone am the cause for this price decline. Last summer I was driving over 2000 miles a month and now I am down to zero. Interesting how my driving is directly correlated to gas prices, when it ought to be inversely related. Anyway, gas is about to get even cheaper unless you live in California, potentially. Their gas "not tax" is interesting. Apparently there are some shady Democrats down there.

In California, When Is A Tax NOT A Tax?

Today the Democrat-controlled legislature in California is hoping to raise $9.3 billion in revenues through a legal loophole. Under state law, a two-thirds vote is needed to raise taxes, and that means some Republican votes are needed. So far, Republicans have not budged on a budget package that includes tax hikes to close California's gaping $15 billion shortfall, a shortfall which could reach $42 billion in 18 months (at least that's what they tell us).
The Democrats are citing wording in state law which allows them to pass a tax bill as long as it doesn't raise revenues. So...follow me here...I think I've got this right...they plan to remove some taxes and replace them with other taxes plus fees. Then they'll raise the fees, which can be done with a simple majority.

What kind of fees are we talking about? A 13-cent extra fee on every gallon of gas, a 3/4 percent hike in sales taxes (fees?), and a 2.5 percent surcharge on personal income in 2009. A surcharge, not a tax, even though the money comes out of your paycheck and goes to the state. http://www.cnbc.com/id/28300618



Do you know how much we pay in gas tax? In Oregon it is $0.433 per gallon (plus optional county taxes of a few cents) which includes a federal excise tax of $0.184 per gallon.
http://www.californiagasprices.com/tax_info.aspx


Crude Oil Falls a Second Day, Heading for Record Annual Decline
Dec. 31 (Bloomberg) -- Crude oil fell for a second day, heading for a record annual drop, on speculation that U.S. fuel stockpiles are increasing as the recession cuts demand.

Crude oil for February delivery fell $1.20, or 3.1 percent, to $37.83 a barrel at 9:15 a.m. on the New York Mercantile Exchange. Futures are down 61 percent this year, the first annual decline since 2001 when oil fell 26 percent, and the biggest drop since trading began in 1983.

U.S. gasoline stockpiles probably rose 1.7 million barrels in the week ended Dec. 26, from 207.3 million barrels the week before, according to the median of 13 analyst estimates.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aLVcprSLiRhU&refer=home

Funk

I am in a wierd funk right now. My sleeping schedule has been thrown off. Before I left Portland I packed up in a hurry and forgot a few items. The most of important of which is the cell phone charger. So my phone is now offically dead and I am about to search for a charger.

So I am back in my hometown and have yet to contact any old friends since my arrival. It is an odd situation. I would like to reconnect, but my phone is dead which eneables me not to contact them right now. The last person I met up with left me with an awkward aftertaste.

People are important and I want to stay in touch, but soometimes it is so much easier to hide behind the messages on myspace and facebook. They are so useful and also so enabling of anto social behavior.

I am heading to the park to play some basketball and spend some qt with my little bro. I have eaten far too much enhealthy food. My body hates me right now. I need an apple and a 10 mile run.

In Albany...

Yesterday I made it. After a week of being trapped in the unusually long snow storm in Portland, I left the city and headed to Albany. I have never been so excited about 40 degree weather and rain. I just needed to get out of a city shut down due to snow. I spent too much time trapped inside.

Tonight I tried out the new basketball I receieved for Christmas. It was chilly and clear. We shot around on a wet court for about an hour. I felt like I had no physical exertions in the last week and half. It felt so good just to get out and do something.

I can't wait to hit the gym and start getting back into shape. There is a long list of outdoor activities to accomplish this year. Included is kayaking, running, hiking, and rock climbing. Being in shap eis the greatest feeling in the world. It makes you feel like you can do anything.

And I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that it is Christmas, and a good one at that. Merry Christmas from Albany.

Karma?

Something bad happened today. I think I killed my truck. There has been a serious of cold days in which snow and ice has shut down the city for the most part. I rarely drive so when I did this morning I ran into a problem. It seems that the coolant froze and then leaked out. On top of that I drove 5 miles at 5 am until it decided to stop.

I was literally in the middle of an intersection. Something blew off the top of my engine. It was bad. There is no coolant in it. To make matters worse, I was in the middle of an intersection. So in my work attire, tie included, I began to push.

Just when I got it into a parking lot, I saw the sign: private parking. The sign clearly spelled out the fact that I would be towed. Considering leaving it there, as there was some ice on the ground and I was late to work, I saw a man in the window of the business. He started with a look of disapproval. I knew he would get me towed.

I called my roommate in distress. He was up and about to leave for work. He was not about to come tow my truck or even swing by. Where is help when you need it? Everyone else in the world was asleep. I tried a few people and then realized what I needed to do.

Reluctantly, I pushed the truck back into the street. My pants were ruined with grease and grime and I was breaking into a pretty good sweat despite the freezing temperature. I managed to move down the block and attempted to enter a pizza parlor parking lot. I figured the chance of getting towed here was minimal. The driveway was steep and an icy puddle stood at the bottom.

I made three attempts to get the truck in the lot. It was almost futile. A car pulled over and watched as I struggled. It was probable entertaining. I had no choice it was time to man up. As I pushed it backwards and then forward for momentum I nearly made it. And then another set of hands grabbed the tailgate.

It was the hand of God. He helped me push it. Well, not really. It was a scroungey looking construction worker in boots. He took pity on my bald white business attire and predicament. Up the truck went and into a curb. Crap. We backed it up and tried again. Whew.

I put the brake on. Adrenaline was flowing and my heart was racing. I left a note begging not to be towed and headed to the nearest bus stop. I had to take off my coat and try to cool down while piecing this altogether.

Is this a sign? Maybe my bad karma got me back. Or can this be something good? Everything happens for a reason. I have been talking about going car-less for quite a while now. This could be the tipping point. I have a bus pass; I usually ride a bus downtown to work anyway. I have been driving less than 500 miles a month so it sort of makes sense. I could save the hundred bucks I pay for insurance too.

Then there are other options. I could buy a car. I would rather not spend the money on it and I will not make payments. I still have my scooter as well. Since I am good with cars I could always rebuild the engine and keep driving it. So much work though. Maybe I will just buy a bike and toughen up.

I don’t need a car anyways. It will make life more interesting.

Reducing Waste

There was a time for me when using a paper towel or toting groceries in a plastic bag seemed inconsequential. That era is over. I know because I still use these items, but now I feel guilty. Call it a product of the green movement, but I only feel guilty because I agree.

Each trash bag, wrapper, and piece of paper is starting to cut deeper into my conscious. Recycling used to seem like something I did when I wanted to feel good, but now I need to do it to feel normal. Recycling in starting to feel like a nicotine addiction. And I often ponder reducing my waste altogether.

I know that grocery bags can easily be replaced with durable, reusable bags, but I have yet to make the plunge. It feels awkward to take a bag to the store, but it also seems to make so much sense. This logic sends me into a deep pondering. I start to race through disposable items that can be replaced by better alternatives. Is there no limit to how sustainable we can become. There must be some limits within our modern constraints though. Items like toilet paper press even the most sustainable to consider where the line should be drawn. There is a lot to be said for modern sanitation.

Leaving the outliers alone, there are countless ways to reduce our own waste and impact. We all know it. The problem is we are not all acting. If we were then the companies we blame for contributing to our polluting of the environment would stop. We blame then for mass producing Styrofoam and ornate packaging laced with non-biodegradable materials, but we need to take the blame for a change.

I am taking a stand. My belief is that we should all reduce our waste and do our part, so I will start being an example. This should also appease my conscious. From here out, I am avoiding products that have packaging. I cannot swear I will never buy a product in a package again, but it will be a scrutiny my purchases will undergo from here on out.

Breaking Up

How do you know when it is time to break up? This is a general question, and in this case it is in relation to a roommate. Is there a definitive rule or can a certain line be drawn? Over several recent days I have pondered if the fairy tale is over. Could I be trying to hold on to something that just is not working for me?

It all came to a head last night. While watching a basketball game and small argument erupted. Not unlike a married couple we argued some minor detail. He attempted to refute my point, but misquoted me. When this takes place there is generally no third part to confirm or deny what had been said, but this time was different.

A friend of mine, and someone he had spent time around as well, had come to watch the game. It may not have been fair, but he ended up in the middle. This is so much like a married couple’s issue that I am actually quite concerned. In this case the third party stood behind my statement and argued that my roommate had misquoted me. Being more stubborn than any mule I have ever seen, he refuses defeat; even when he has clearly lost.

He made an attempt to move the argument off subject and I caught him and blocked it. Tensions were high and he took a cheap stab, saying that I talk like a woman. Then I was silent. He thought he had one, but I had to ponder the words. Had I just done what so many women had done to me before? Their acute memory for spoken word had beat be in many cases, and I now had acquired just that skill.

The curious thing is that I was most bothered by he continued denial. He knew he was wrong, I knew he was wrong, half of the room knew he was wrong, but he would never admit it. That may be something to think about if you are in a relationship or dare I suggest marriage.

I have been married, and I have been in relationships. I am currently in neither, but I am starting to feel like I am. We live, eat, and often spend time with each. Our hobbies are mostly mirrored and our circle of friends has been small, almost nonexistent. It was working well for a while.

You see, I was a recovering husband, and he had just moved to town. Neither of us really had any friends to speak of. I was deeply troubled and he was broke. We lived cheap and enjoyed life making light of our problems. Then something changed.

One day I woke up happy. In fact I woke up an hour before my alarm. The dark cloud of bills and the complications of a soured relationship started to part. It was at this point I started rekindling old friendships. I began to think of it as a social network I was building. At the same time I changed my diet, started reading books relentlessly, and simplified my life. I felt like I was back on top of life and taking it for a ride.

As the days and weeks progressed I worked out my positions on many topics. It was like a weight had been lifted. My thoughts were no longer suppressed and distanced from feelings. All at once they were converging and I was defining myself all over again. And then I realized the conflict within.

Some of the ideas I subscribed to and some of my actions were no longer in line with my belief system. It was an almost overnight change. To make it more difficult, my sudden change began to conflict with my roommates opinions. It was at this time the small debates began to rage over petty items. One day we argued the quantifiable difference between a chill and a shiver. Nobody won and the feud is still standing today.

For a long time I had been altogether agreeable and somewhat of a push over. What I came to learn is that when you start to grow a spine everyone is not going to like you. This was a tragic blow. Before, I was agreeable and likeable by most, although I was at odds with myself. So I chose to move forward and embrace what I was becoming.

This developed into a lifestyle headed down different paths. My interests were changing and our aspiration had long been quite discordant. I started to feel like we were no longer a match made in heaven. Yes we should be friends, but I was no longer gaining much in this arrangement.

My disdain began to build as small details were all around me and eager to collect on this snowball rolling down the hill. It may sound petty, but the man failed to take part in household chores. I fault myself to some degree for not being more vocal, but he is a grown man and I am not his mother.

I had cleaned the bathroom many times and he had not. I had cleaned the stove often, and he left grease and food all over it without regard. The stains in the carpet were multiplying and they were starting to get to me now. Everything in the place I lived was gnawing at my soul. It was round two for me. I had lived in the same place with my wife a year earlier and unhappily at that. Now here I was again.

So here I sit today feeling uneasy and tight in the chest. To my benefit the lease on the townhouse is over and we are technically paying month to month, but we talked about signing a six month lease about 2 weeks ago. I feel slightly relieved, but still uptight. Am I ready to move? Where will I move? What about my dog?

I drew up a mental plan this morning. I could send the dog to live with a friend in the worst case, and Craigslist is burgeoning with people who need roommates. Besides, I am tired of the commute and want to live closer to work and downtown anyhow. It all makes sense, but it also seems so sudden.

The bottom line is right now I want out. Cutting my losses, making hard decisions has been a folly for me and I plan to escape this pitfall going forward. I am ready to move on. It is a bit sad. His financial situation could be better and I know he doesn’t want to move, but I do.

My thoughts culminated into a single question. How much should we care about others? I am not religious and life is so short. Being miserable just is not worth it. Sometimes you have to take charge of your life. This is relatively small stuff. It is the stuff that may frustrate others, but it is not ethically or morally wrong.

I talk a big game, but I am not ready to move forward. I need a few days to think and contemplate. Why is it so hard to admit you want it to be over? I know I am passive, so until my mind is made and I get the courage up to confront it I will just resort to selling some of my belongings and start packing a few things up. Even if I don’t move I need to get rid of something.

Epithet or Epitaph?

An epithet can be part of an epitaph, but can an epitaph be an epithet? This is an odd question, and may bleed insight into my mind or just leave you puzzled. Either way, let us ponder our language we love to hate so dearly.

Getting started, I navigated to Google and employed the definition look up feature. Ah, this world is so convenient lately. As I read into these two peculiar words I found some definitions. An epithet is a name: a defamatory or abusive word or phrase. It is also defined as a descriptive word or phrase. I found the latter confounding. Most of the epithets I know are not all that descriptive at all, albeit I moved on to the definition of epitaph. The definition reads: an inscription on a tombstone or monument in memory of the person buried there. The secondary definition calls it a summary statement of commemoration for a dead person.

Back to my original question, which now can be pondered more delicately? While I doubt many choose epithets to be placed on their tombstone in an epitaph, surely it has happened. But who would use an epitaph as an epithet?

I would. So when I tell you to ‘rest in peace’ you should know I am throwing an epithet at you. It meets the definition, right? It could mean you are going to die soon. Or maybe I am just wishing death upon you. Obviously this is an epithetical use of an epitaph, success. I somehow cannot determine how to be descriptive or insulting with the words ‘in remembrance of’ or ‘gone but never forgotten.’

So it seems logical that these two phrases are not completely interchangeable. Although it seems that any epithet could become an epitaph, the converse is not true. In this way we can define a logical relationship. To take some liberty with mathematical terms I would like to deem epithets a subset of epitaphs. That is, every epithet can be an epithet. All epithets are completely contained within the definition of epitaphs but not all epitaphs are within the definition of epithet. Therefore we have a superset (epitaphs) and a subset (epithets.)

Hmm. If you followed that I am impressed. Now I just need to figure out why I was pondering this in the first place. It all started with some lyrics from a song. It is called Daylight by Aesop Rock. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Just listen to it; over and over.


…You won't be laughing when your front lawn is spangled with epitaphs…
-Aesop Rock

Giving Blood

It is one of those simple things that goes unrewarded, but does some good in the world. Right? The prospect of supplying blood to a person who would otherwise die has to warm you heart a bit. I have however heard stories of blood being unused and going to waste. For the time being I have set those thoughts aside.

Last week I signed up to give blood. Today is the big day. I have not given blood since I was in High School. The last time I gave blood was only the second time ever. It was a bit traumatic.

I believe it was well into the swimming season and I was conditioning for several hours each day. In the previous month I had been dropping weight and it seemed I could consume endless quantities of food to no avail. That was likely why I passed out on that cool November morning.

When I awoke I did not know where I was. It was frightening and a bit embarrassing. It was this experience along with the large needles and stale smell of the nurses and equipment that had driven me away.

But now I am here again 5 years later. It seems noble, and I just starting to feel queasy a bit. I doubt I will pass out, but that thought lingers in my mind. Only forty five minutes until I let someone press what ought to be called a sharp tube, due to its diameter, into my arm and suck a bit of the life force out of me. Okay, maybe a bit dramatic, but I am uneasy to say least.

Christmas

With less than three weeks until Christmas it is time to tackle this sensitive subject. I have recently pondered the merits and usefulness of such a holiday. Before you label me a scrooge, take a second and ponder along with me.

As a non religious American, I feel out of place during the Christmas season. I refrain from calling the holiday season for several reasons. First, Thanksgiving get wrapped into that package and I have no beef with that holiday; literally, since transitioning to an all natural raw diet. Moreover, eating is one of my favorite pastimes. Second, I have never actively participated in Hanukah or Kwanza. So let’s be honest with ourselves, the American holiday season is really just about Christmas.

Christmas is most notably defined by several succinct details. The colors red and green, Christmas trees pop up in parking lots, crowds at the major retailers, and Christmas music that is almost omnipresent. I believe this is what many deem the recipe for holiday cheer. And now I want to call each ingredient into question.

A two color scheme has proven effective in many celebratory sectors. Possibly the most notorious is school and team colors. When you want to support a cause you do it with the right colors. So it makes sense that Christmas was assigned two colors so that people could easily show their support. Of the many aspects surrounding Christmas, the colors are not religious, they do not discriminate, and they are not part of a corporate marketing schemes. They are simple and they are symbolic, but why red and green? Green is a likely choice for implementation of trees maybe but why red? It works so I will just leave red alone for now.

Moving on, consider the truckloads of cut pine trees shipped across this great land. I find it interesting that the core symbol of Christmas within the confines of a home is a well decorated tree. Even more peculiar is the way these trees make it to your home. Step one, trees are cut and wrap, likely by poor immigrant workers, and then shipped via gas guzzling trucks in a mad dash to disperse trees across the country starting on Thanksgiving. The next step places the trees on corners and blacktop lots of all types. I find this step of most peculiarity.

It was just last year that I was in on the prowl for a tree. It was the first week of December. I did not have to drive more than a half mile from my home before I found half a dozen corner lot tree mongers. These are people of an interesting breed. Sure I have to give a pass to the Boy Scout groups selling trees, but in general the crowd is not so noble. In fact, I arrived at a lot that met my expectations. The man, who sold me a tree, was a bit rough. He appeared from a worn travel trailer of that seem impossible small for a man of his height, around 6’ 2” to sleep in comfortably. There a small TV with a fuzzy signal on in the background and a girlfriend, I suspect, wrapped in a blanket. For four weeks this was his life. He ate, slept, protected, and sold trees for 4 weeks of his life on this corner lot. This seems like a fascinating way of life, albeit unsustainable.

So now that I had purchased what was a low priced worthy looking specimen, it was time to get it home. Saying goodbye to the bearded pine monger, who seemed like the carnival attendant drifter type, I proceeded to embrace the miracle that is twine. I was attaching an entire tree to the roof of my car. This one act has become an American institution over the years. Movies glorify it and police defer action when even the most loosely attached trees threaten to find their way to concrete or other objects. This is something I have tested in the past. This year, I was bound to keep the tree on the rough however.

Arriving home, the last stages commence. I fought the tree, which was too wide for the door into the house only to realize that it was also too tall. With some help, we wrestled the tree and I gave it a fresh but undeniably rough and uneven cut with a handsaw. Remind me again why this is such a fun event. You should be familiar with the rest. Ornaments are placed along with lights garland and other memorabilia onto the crisp needle covered branches of the tree.

This exercise in holiday cheer seems trivial and destructive. I find this practice of useless tree cutting wasteful and of bad taste. I do recognize that this strong symbol of Christmas will not soon be overthrown. It just saddens me. A tree with shiny objects does not define a person, or the spirit which abounds within it. To some they see the birth of a holiday when the tree goes up; I see the death of a tree. Moreover, I see a fire hazard a financial cost a hassle. Let us not overlook the fake trees which have become so realistic in recent years. I see little harm in placing these trees in ones own home.

Moving from the home to the broader community level, we run into Christmas music, bell ringers and long lines. In the past I would have found much of this off putting, but not this year to the same degree. I have restructured my life to avoid most major retail outlets. In doing so, I have also evaded the lines and the incessant bell ringers. I have not escaped the holiday music, nor have I tried to. I enjoy music greatly and can find a special spot for holiday music once a year. Much of it has catchy lyrics that enchant me to sing. See, I am not critical of every aspect of this holiday which has been less than spectacular in the past.
This year may prove to be different for many reasons. This year I feel little pressure to buy gifts which has dampened my own holiday spirit. That is the product of changing relationship status mostly. It is amazing how things change when you stop revolving around material and retail ideals. There wills till be a few retail trips yet to come, and altogether the pressure is not lifted. I feel that I must purchase gifts for some. And that is the root of the problem.

When did Christmas lose its charm? It used to be about food, decoration, and family. Now it’s about spending money and getting material possessions. The human element is being stripped. And, what about Jesus? Wasn’t that the whole point? I honestly despise the aggravated Christians who push for more Jesus in my Christmas. They lost. Christmas is an American corporate institution now. Game over. It is about stuff not people. That is why a am not so merry this Christmas.